One of the reasons I cannot say I do not want to be bipolar, is:
If people were so desperate to take it from me, it must be pretty valuable.
It is one thing I have that makes the people I am scared of scared of me.
My enemy’s enemy is my-
Another reason, is that I do not know what Abby-without-bipolar would look like.
I know, I like this life. I think, I would like life without crazy. But everyone knows it is dangerous to go back in time.
I cannot separate myself into Bipolar and Autism and Anxiety and Abby. I cannot separate myself into good and bad parts, either. It’s like trying to catch a fish with a net made of spaghetti.
I cannot answer, “Would you want your bipolar cured?”
I cannot answer, “Would you want your autism cured?”
I should keep asking myself questions.
I should stop worrying about the answers.